NPR confirms all of our worst fears. According to some dude on the radio, fully 50% of births to women under 30 are out of wedlock. This, apparently, puts these families under high economic risk: there is a high correlation between single mothers and family poverty. According to the Annual Social and Economic Supplement to the census, in 2005, 10.2% of all families were under the poverty line, but 28.3% of families headed by single women had incomes below the poverty. And while 26.5% of all families were below 200% of poverty, 54.9% of single mother families were. I think basically this tells us that not only are you probably pregnant, but you're probably poor, too. Awesome.
In conclusion, support dropping the income threshold on the Child Tax Credit, and for Christ's sake, wrap it up!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A reflection...
from my good friend P as I (thank you, sweet Jesus!) enter the red tent once again:
"Periods are like Christmas for sexually active women."
Well, deck the halls with pads and tampons.
"Periods are like Christmas for sexually active women."
Well, deck the halls with pads and tampons.
This was actually me...
From Overheard in the Office- www.overheardintheoffice.com...
We Hope You'll Come in and Be Judged by Us Again Soon
(Woman puts groceries on checkstand, including home pregnancy test.)Male clerk: Man, I have been selling a lot of these lately!
(Woman laughs nervously.)
Male clerk to female clerk, waving test in the air: Haven't you been selling a lot of these?
Female clerk: Yeah, I have! It must be spring, you know how people get!
(Woman is now horrified.)
Male clerk, handing woman her groceries: Well, good luck either way!
Safeway
Phoenix, Arizona
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I'm in love with a stripper virgin
He's interesting. He's funny. He's smart. He's witty. He's handsome. And he's never going to fuck me.
Why? He's still got his V-card, that's why! That means we can go to dinner, drink wine, discuss politics and religion and laugh and laugh, but dear god, my dashing prince turns into a fumbling, frightened, inaccessible idiot at the idea of a roll in the hay.
"This could be good for you," my friend tells me. "At least you won't have to worry about being pregnant."
Indeed, one might think that a boo who won't do it would be perfect for a girl who's probs. pregs. 24/7.
Yet, behold our awkward conversation of several nights hence:
Ginger: I want to be the one to pop your cherry.
Virgin: It won't work. You'd only be frustrated.
Ginger: I'm already frustrated!
Virgin: Let's just talk about poetry and enjoy this imported cigar.
Ginger: Please hold me.
Virgin: I've got to go.
Alas, there's just no romance without the risk of getting fertilized out of wedlock.
Why? He's still got his V-card, that's why! That means we can go to dinner, drink wine, discuss politics and religion and laugh and laugh, but dear god, my dashing prince turns into a fumbling, frightened, inaccessible idiot at the idea of a roll in the hay.
"This could be good for you," my friend tells me. "At least you won't have to worry about being pregnant."
Indeed, one might think that a boo who won't do it would be perfect for a girl who's probs. pregs. 24/7.
Yet, behold our awkward conversation of several nights hence:
Ginger: I want to be the one to pop your cherry.
Virgin: It won't work. You'd only be frustrated.
Ginger: I'm already frustrated!
Virgin: Let's just talk about poetry and enjoy this imported cigar.
Ginger: Please hold me.
Virgin: I've got to go.
Alas, there's just no romance without the risk of getting fertilized out of wedlock.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
It's a fetus!
I just know it this time. I am probably, definitely, totally pregnant. It is most definitely NOT a food baby. I've been feeling naush for about three days. I thought I might just be paranoid, but when I mentioned it to my roommate, she asked, "Do you think maybe you're pregnant?" THEN, my boyfriend said last night, totally out of the blue, "Wouldn't it suck- I mean, be totally inconvenient, if you got pregnant right now, right before starting grad school?" Totally a sign. I must be emanating baby vibes. Nevermind that I had my period a week and a half ago. God is punishing me for the blog. Anyway, that was probably just implantation bleeding.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Clay Aiken...the Sperminator?
News sources report today that pop singer Clay Aiken is going to become a father. This from the San Francisco Chronicle:
To anyone who has attended a Clay Aiken concert in the past year, you are probably pregnant and I recommend you take like three EPTs, stat. And...what were you thinking going to a Clay Aiken concert, anyway?
Sources report that Aiken and Foster will not marry, but that Aiken will play an active role in the child's life. Aww.
Singer Clay Aiken is having a baby with his best friend, music producer Jaymes Foster.
A spokesman for Foster's music mogul brother, David Foster, has confirmed that Jaymes, 50, became pregnant through artificial insemination and is due to give birth to the 29-year-old "American Idol" star's child in August.
Um...holy shit. If a gay American Idol with highlights, a powdered nose and a belty tenor can impregnate a 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN named JAMES then...hang on to your condoms, because NO ONE IS SAFE!!!
I mean, just LOOK at this guy:
To anyone who has attended a Clay Aiken concert in the past year, you are probably pregnant and I recommend you take like three EPTs, stat. And...what were you thinking going to a Clay Aiken concert, anyway?
Sources report that Aiken and Foster will not marry, but that Aiken will play an active role in the child's life. Aww.
Q & A
Dear Ginger,
I heard that you can get pregnant just "messing around."
Is this true?
Periodless in Peoria
Dear Period,
The answer, my young, hot-and-heavy friend is Yes! A resounding Yes! Though they appear squirmy and guileless under magnification, sperm are actually mighty warriors who will fight to enter your vagina at every turn.
Thus, you can get pregnant from merely spending "quality time" with any guy with a respectable sperm count.
Dear Period,
The answer, my young, hot-and-heavy friend is Yes! A resounding Yes! Though they appear squirmy and guileless under magnification, sperm are actually mighty warriors who will fight to enter your vagina at every turn.
Thus, you can get pregnant from merely spending "quality time" with any guy with a respectable sperm count.
This includes activities such as: making out, heavy petting, taking naps together, wearing bathing suits while in the same hot tub vicinity, and watching any film starring Marky Mark. If you have done any of these things recently, you are probably pregnant.
Acceptable male-female interactions that will probably not get you pregnant include: paddle-boating with your parents, taking a knitting class, and discussing your constant fear of getting pregnant. Remember...it's okay to talk about it! Good luck.
Acceptable male-female interactions that will probably not get you pregnant include: paddle-boating with your parents, taking a knitting class, and discussing your constant fear of getting pregnant. Remember...it's okay to talk about it! Good luck.
This implantation bleeding is giving me terrible cramps
Did you know that even if you get "your period," you may still be pregnant? In fact, you probably ARE pregnant? Yep. Welcome to the terrifying world of implantation bleeding.
From JustMommies.com:
After ovulation the egg travels into the uterus and burrows into the lining of the uterus. For some women implantation will cause slight bleeding or spotting. This is called implantation bleeding. This is sometimes confused for an early period.
What does implantation bleeding or spotting look like?
Implantation bleeding, also called implantation spotting, does not look like a regular menstrual period. Implantation bleeding is scanty and usually pink or brownish discharge.
Implantation bleeding or menstrual period?
Implantation bleeding normally occurs a week to a few days before your period would normally start. Spotting that occurs around a week after ovulation is likely implantation bleeding; whereas, spotting that occurs very close to the time that your period would normally start may not be. A normal menstrual cycle generally starts off light and then gets heavier. Spotting can sometimes be the sign of an early period. If this is the case, the spotting will pick up to heavier bleeding. If you have spotting right around the time your period would normally start, it can be more confusing. You will need to take the wait and see approach or take a pregnancy test to determine pregnancy.
What if I feel like my period is about to start?
If you have had spotting and think it might be implantation bleeding you may be paying very close attention to your body. If you are trying to get pregnant, the good news is that early pregnancy symptoms feel very similar to the start of your period. If you are pregnant you may begin to notice symptoms of early pregnancy right around the time your period would normally start and sometimes sooner than that. If you suspect pregnancy you can test for pregnancy as early as ten days after ovulation.
How common is implantation bleeding?
Implantation bleeding is fairly common with pregnancy. Twenty to thirty percent of women will have spotting during early pregnancy. If you have some light spotting before your period would normally start this is not something to worry about and may be a sign of pregnancy.
From JustMommies.com:
After ovulation the egg travels into the uterus and burrows into the lining of the uterus. For some women implantation will cause slight bleeding or spotting. This is called implantation bleeding. This is sometimes confused for an early period.
What does implantation bleeding or spotting look like?
Implantation bleeding, also called implantation spotting, does not look like a regular menstrual period. Implantation bleeding is scanty and usually pink or brownish discharge.
Implantation bleeding or menstrual period?
Implantation bleeding normally occurs a week to a few days before your period would normally start. Spotting that occurs around a week after ovulation is likely implantation bleeding; whereas, spotting that occurs very close to the time that your period would normally start may not be. A normal menstrual cycle generally starts off light and then gets heavier. Spotting can sometimes be the sign of an early period. If this is the case, the spotting will pick up to heavier bleeding. If you have spotting right around the time your period would normally start, it can be more confusing. You will need to take the wait and see approach or take a pregnancy test to determine pregnancy.
What if I feel like my period is about to start?
If you have had spotting and think it might be implantation bleeding you may be paying very close attention to your body. If you are trying to get pregnant, the good news is that early pregnancy symptoms feel very similar to the start of your period. If you are pregnant you may begin to notice symptoms of early pregnancy right around the time your period would normally start and sometimes sooner than that. If you suspect pregnancy you can test for pregnancy as early as ten days after ovulation.
How common is implantation bleeding?
Implantation bleeding is fairly common with pregnancy. Twenty to thirty percent of women will have spotting during early pregnancy. If you have some light spotting before your period would normally start this is not something to worry about and may be a sign of pregnancy.
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